The "not knowing" aspect of enlightenment fills me with rage. How do I come to peace with experiencing an uncontrollable dream over and over for all eternity wherein I constantly hurt myself blindly with no hope of ever reaching any solid ground?

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You’re being blinded by your misinterpretation of Buddhism.

Dukkha is commonly translated as suffering, but better articulated as “everything that is dissatisfactory about existence.” Dukkha is ever-present, but defines existence the further and further from enlightenment you go. As you get closer, your relationship to dukkha changes.

The first journey through the mystic path that leads to enlightenment has you go through the Dark Night. The Dark Night is the direct traversal of dukkha. You learn critical inner lessons on how to harness dukkha and use it to help you.

What you are describing is identifying with dukkha. This is the story of the Dark Night Yogi, the aspirant who, through disregarding the teachings or simple ignorance, cannot move past the Dark Night and thus is stuck in an endless holding pattern.

You don’t have to get stuck and stay on shifting ground. When dukkha is defining the path, the way forward is to just go back to basics. This trains your mind to deal with it better.