How can I truly believe in God and not just lie to myself that I believe?

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I call the path to belief mysticism. You engage with God and create a space to communicate with Him in. Christians call this prayer. At first you won’t get a whole lot back. My technique for this is to use your imagination and just pretend that any random thought or feeling you have while you’re praying is direct communication with God. This bypasses the rational naysayer and lets you have little adventures. Eventually your spirituality will stabilize and you’ll have a nice, easy way to communicate with God whenever you need one.

My own path involved engagement with many kinds of spiritual thinkers and the synthesis of what I think of as a completely new way to be spiritual. You don’t have to go that far. You can get your spiritual ideas from your friends or pastor or books. No matter where you get them from, the path to belief is the same, sit in quiet communion with yourself and God.