Is it now inappropriate for any male to say, “You look nice, today” or “That’s a pretty dress” to a fellow female employee?

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The way I deal with sexual attraction in the workplace is to not act on it. I do get strong urges but I’ve disciplined myself to not do anything while I’m having the urge. Actions taken under the influence of strong sexual attraction are never going to have the intended effect unless the other person is also acting under those impulses. So this isn’t something I only have to do at work, but also in any social situation.

Instead I keep it to myself and wait for the feeling to pass. I only interact with someone when I can do it with purely social intentions. There is a lady at work that I’m very attracted to. It took two weeks for me to find the right moment to say something to her. I think it was as comment on an upcoming office event. She jumped on the opportunity to chat and we are now casual office acquaintances. I have complimented her but I never do so “under the influence.” I’m rather certain she suspects I’m attracted to her but that simmers under the surface and it’s probably going to stay that way because she’s married.

My compliments follow my normal rule for compliments, always on something she can control, rather than something she can’t. (clothing choices, not physical features, for example) Always on something she chose rather than how she looks like. (she looks fabulous, not pretty) Again there is nothing about the workplace that changes these normal rules for social interaction.

Only get romantic in a romantic setting. Romantic compliments shouldn’t be made at the workplace with somebody you’re hoping to be romantic with. Ask for permission first, verify mutual attraction and that they have the emotional space and the time for a relationship, then you can go wild.

Until then, keep it in your pants.