A woman I started dating, after a few dates, tells me that she wants to start out as just friends (both in 30s). I then told her that as long as we were hanging out as just friends, we need to go Dutch. She now thinks I am cheap. Am I wrong?

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It’s not your perspective that’s cheap, it’s the way you went about communicating that to her.

The way to do this is to tease her about it. Wait until the end of the meal and then turn to her and be like, “hey, we’re not dating anymore, got your card?”

If she really insists at that point that you should pay for the meal, then you know what she’s about and should really just stop seeing her. I would pay that time just so it doesn’t turn into drama and then decline to go out again on friend dates.

The way you handled it gave the impression that the first thing you thought about when she told you she wasn’t interested in you anymore was that you didn’t want to pay for dinner. So dates are just payments for possible sexual interest?

You aren’t being cheap in the sense you’re thinking about, but you did just cheapen the time you spent together with her. Was it or wasn’t it meaningful?