Therapist: Are you ever vulnerable to your clients? Can I ask my therapist to be vulnerable or put her guard down with me? She seems so guarded as if she does not trust me. I really like her and I feel we have a good therapeutic relationship though.

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Therapists are supposed to have regular therapy sessions themselves so that they don’t have this sort of problem. It’s possible that she isn’t aware of the impression she’s leaving on you. I would suggest that you bring it up in a session so that she is aware.

Therapy isn’t magic and therapists can’t read your mind. They can assess emotions, help bring things to light that you want to bring to light, and gently help you reach your goals.

I would question your conviction that you have a good therapeutic relationship with her if you feel as if she doesn’t trust you. That’s pretty much the definition of a relationship that isn’t working. Any relationship requires trust, therapy as much as others.

Just as an aside, if you interacted with me, I would bet that I would come across as reserved, but not guarded. If you ask me questions, I would do my best to answer the question honestly and faithfully, but not offer any more than you asked. If you want more from me, you’ll have to ask, I’m not going to just vomit my whole life all over you.

I would assert that most decent therapists are like this. You’ll get honest feedback, but they’re not really going to share their deepest feelings with you unless they somehow become relevant. You might be seeing this as guardedness, as some people have in the past with me.

At any rate, this is a discussion you should be having with her, not us. You’ll settle on a resolution and move past it. That’s how it’s supposed to work.