I'm shocked at how fast people jump into relationships. It takes me months of getting to know a man before I want to jump into a relationship. Is something wrong with me?

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There’s nothing’s wrong with you. Perhaps you can shift the way you approach and think about dating so that everybody can be happier. There’s a lot of intermediate steps in between being strangers and being in a relationship that are worth thinking about and adapting to your needs.

The first one that comes to mind is you don’t need to be in a relationship in order to be dating. In order to make this work you need to be clear with the person that you’re not ready to be exclusive and you’re both free to see other people. You need to set and communicate boundaries, for two main reasons.

First, you need to not see the other person more than once a week or so. If you don’t follow this rule it starts to feel like an unacknowledged relationship and guaranteed somebody’s not getting what they need from that but will feel stuck. I’ve made this mistake, I have to keep my hot female friends at arm’s length now.

Second, you need to keep physical intimacy to that which you’re comfortable with, and encourage your casual partner to do the same. Some people can have sex outside of a relationship, some people can’t. Don’t feel pressured to, and don’t date men who pressure you. Warn them a few times then get out.

But there’s a lot more to physical intimacy than just putting the sausage in the bun. I can turn women into putty with my massages, and I’ve had to learn to hold on to those while dating. Don’t be so quick to give it all away! Dole your gifts out for good behavior, don’t be afraid to tease! Make it a game, how people act in games is super-close to how they act when it’s serious.

Guaranteed the person you’re seeing isn’t going to be perfectly happy with what they’re getting / not getting out of their time spent with you. That’s okay! It’s not a relationship! When you’re dating, you don’t have to meet anybody else’s needs other than your own! If your partner has trouble with boundaries, you can talk about it, but chances are that means they’re not going to work that well in a relationship.

If you can’t have fun when you’re just dating, you won’t have a whole lot of fun in a relationship either.