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Why should I be a preacher when I know that the methods are wrong and a trap and as soon as I do, all the major people in my life are going to put me on their strict regimen of going before the church and following in their footsteps?

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Nobody should be a preacher. In fact, it’s a very poor choice of career. The pay sucks, you’re pretty much always working, and you have to pretend to be way more enthusiastic about your work than you often feel like being.

The only reason anybody should become a preacher is because they can’t do anything else.

You need to start making your dissatisfaction with the life path chosen to you to those who are making you do it. This way it’s not a total surprise to them when you leave to go do your own thing.