Should the word (racist) be retired from civil society like the N-word and would this help with civility?

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No. People, especially white people, especially white people like me who don’t have to see or experience or object to casual racism of the sort our parents did, need to understand that racism is still alive and well in the land of the free and home of the brave.

Because it’s still literally everywhere. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. For hundreds of years, white Americans built up their societies on the backs of black people. Even though we aren’t literally whipping their backs, we’re whipping their spirits through racist policies and attitudes.

Getting everybody to agree that not using the word racism to describe systematic oppression isn’t going to make society any more civil. Getting rid of racism will. Getting rid of the word will just make racism more prevalent and not less.