How do I keep my attraction after I achieve her attraction?

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This essentially boils down to objectification.

You don’t realize this about yourself yet, but you don’t actually want a real woman. You want a perfect woman. In your head, it’s easy to make any woman perfect. You just imagine things about her that you don’t know if they are true or not. Because you don’t actually know her yet this comes extremely naturally.

Once you actually get to know her, the rubber meets the road and your imaginations have to suffer a literal disillusionment.

Any guy who lives in his head is prone to this. I know I am. Sadly, I don’t have any good answers. You want a woman who is what you wanted her to be, but no woman is ever going to live up to those high standards. I spent my entire twenties falling in love with figments of my imagination. Normal people just didn’t interest me.

I did this a lot with my last crush. Our friendship really suffered for it. If I had been more aware I’d have seen what was going on and stopped messing around with her. But we’ve been friends for so long that’s not an option anymore. Now I’m trying to keep a precise amount of distance from her, because I don’t want to just kick her out of my life but I’m also not interested in a relationship any more with her. She’s not special anymore to me. She has a role to play but I’m not going to beat her up on Quora where she can’t defend herself. Suffice it to say that I really should have known better.

I think the way forward is in being able to tell what you have projected onto a lady vs what that lady actually is. I don’t know any shortcuts to gaining that knowledge. Certainly instead of getting her attached to you, you should get to know her first and see if she is actually what you want her to be. Once you’ve verified that yes, you’re actually into her as a person, then turn up the charm and get her into you.