How should I flirt and approach attractive strangers?

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Good question. I was A2A this question so I’m going to approach this from the perspective of a guy wanting to approach a lady. If you want other sides of it approached specifically, ask me to answer those.

The first thing you need to know is that if you want to approach and interact with someone, in general and this is by no means universal, lots and lots and lots and lots of other people have already done it, with varying degrees of success.

So the chances of any particular interaction actually turning into a meaningful connection is just really low. There’s a zillion things that can get in the way. She may well not be interested in interacting with strangers. She may not be interested in interacting with a stranger at this point in time. She’s probably a little scared of you, especially if you’re a big imposing guy.

What this means is you need a reason to be interacting with her. The interaction must rest inside a frame that gives her the ability to control how it goes. You need to mention this reason to her so she understands why you’re talking to her.

Left unstated, but very important, is that if she wants to end the interaction with you at any time, all she has to do is remove the reason you guys are interacting, and you’ll just go away. Everything in your manner must be practically screaming this from the rooftops as you interact with a lady that is probably really scared all the things you might end up doing in this interaction.

Reasons to talk to strangers are really flimsy, so you need to come up with a better one really quickly after you start talking to her. Don’t start floundering around though, pick one thing and just interact on that basis until it’s time to go.

For example, you might start interacting with someone on the pretext that you need directions. Once you get those directions, it’s time for you to leave, unless you come up with another reason to talk to her. One reason might be that the Hawks are playing tonight and is she going to watch the game? The secondary reason doesn’t have to be at all related to the first one or anything at all. It’s just a reason why you guys are interacting that sets the frame for what to say and how.

While you guys are interacting, there is a ton of things going on at a subconscious level. They are going to bubble up into the girl’s mind as a binary yes/no decision about whether she wants to keep interacting with you. This is the primary thing running through her mind while you’re trying to flirt with her. Your only objective here is to replace that train of thought with actual flirting. If you can get her to forget for a brief second that she’s talking to a total stranger, then you my friend are a stud of studs.

If you manage to do that, and trust me it’s got a lot less to do with ‘flirting’ than it does with the ability to make her feel safe to be around you, then you’ve got an outside shot at the following chain of events happening.

You ask for her number and she gives it to you.
The number actually reaches her phone.
She actually answers the call or text.
You actually manage to continue the interaction over the phone and it doesn’t dry up.
You ask for a date and she says yes.
You manage to coordinate a time and date for the date.
She shows up for the date.
Your interaction doesn’t go stale during the date.
You manage to continue interacting after the date. (second date, sex)

Notice how everything I’ve written about here revolves around the theme of safety. You need to beat it into your head if you want to scare strange women with your romantic intentions. She needs to be in control of the interaction, at all times. She needs to feel like she’s in control of the interaction, at all times.

If you can figure out how to do this, you’ll be absolutely swimming in female attention. You’ll have more than you’ll know what to do with. You’ll start having to fend off their advances. They’ll start abusing that control. It’s not all fun and games.