Why do I keep dating men that are assholes?

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A2A, hi Jeremy!

Patterns in dating are endemic. Everybody has a ‘type’. People will say they’re attracted to lots of different kinds of people, but who they date usually falls into a certain category. This typically boils down to laziness, people usually don’t get out much, or they only accept invitations in certain contexts, e.g. at work or at the bar. These life patterns, in my opinion, play the biggest role in who we date and eventually end up with.

Since Jeremy is asking me to answer this question, and since he’s a total stud, I’m going to guess that the lady wanting the answer to this is exceptionally beautiful and attracts a lot of attention from men. Being a guy who has known a lot of these women, I can hopefully offer tailored observations on your particular situation.

If this is you, be aware of and keep in mind that it’s not your fault. It’s easy to look inward to try to find something wrong with you that leads to this outcome. When in actuality, this entire dynamic can be perfectly explained by the fact that most guys you’d want to date are intimidated by you and the only guys who aren’t are single guys who don’t get easily intimidated, i.e. assholes.

If they weren’t assholes and they didn’t get intimidated by beauty, they’d already be locked into a relationship with a beautiful lady, or are keeping themselves perpetually single simply because they like the lifestyle or are addicted to it, like our friend Jeremy here. Since there are way more assholes in the world than guys like me or Jeremy, most of the guys you will say yes to dates to will be assholes.

The other thing I want to say is that assholes are extremely good at pretending they aren’t assholes. You really have to trust your gut and develop a second sense for assholery because assholes do not announce themselves.

What you need to do is go over your interactions with your past boyfriends, figure out what sort of damage they had, and work out ways in which you could have seen that shit coming. Eventually you’ll be like the fucking Carnac of assholes.

Definitely an asshole