I have never had someone find me attractive who I am also attracted to. Should I date someone even if I'm not attracted to them?

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No, you shouldn’t.

What you need to do is work on yourself. You can either try to make yourself more attractive to the types of people you want to date, or more attracted to people you wouldn’t consider dating now.

There’s a lot more to sexuality than the raw animal aspect. There’s a lot of different kinds of attraction. There’s lots of different kinds of sex.

When you approach someone, you need to have an idea in your mind of what you actually want to do with that person, what sort of sex you’re fantasizing about with them. So that way, when the conversation goes that way, you can have something better to tell them than, “oh I want to have sex with you because I’m lonely and think you’ll make me not lonely.”

People want to be desired and appreciated. It would be great if your desires lined up perfectly with their desires, but the reality is that never really happens, and is the source of a lot of relationship failures. Relationships that last are built on a bed of mutual compatibility, but more importantly, the relationship has to be built in such a way that both people in it can grow and change.

You don’t want to get caught in the trap of chasing perfection, but you also don’t want to be too loosey-goosey that you’ll date literally anyone. Neither is an attractive trait.

Also, chances are what you’re attracted to now will prove to be just a phase that you’ll move past once you actually have one or two of those types of liaisons. Being rigid about it just reduces your options.