How do I deal with my employer telling me I should show 'commitment' by working overtime?

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I don’t normally have to deal with these kinds of situations because it’s usually quite clear what the value-add I bring to the company or project is. If it wasn’t clear, then I would have done my own digging to find out what it is they need, what it is they want, and make sure that both sets of requirements are met.

What I love about my current project is that it’s very well-managed. We use Pivotal Tracker and the entire state of what work needs to be done is right there in the tracker. We also have two managers whose job it is to groom and maintain the tracker. We have weekly meetings to ascertain the current status of the project, (we’re always “crushing it”) and to plan it into the future.

We have three excellent developers and a QA guy. Our team could comfortably shoulder a workload that is three, even five times, what we’re currently being given. Instead we play a lot of ping pong.

OK, I’m done bragging. I didn’t do it just for the sake of bragging, I also did it to give you a map of the terrain that you are navigating. Your employer wants to make money off of your efforts. You want to enjoy your life. These are not mutually-incompatible desires. But it’s up to you to provide the delta between the status quo and a well-managed project that allows you to go home at 5 every day. They are paying you $$$, and as they say, he who has the gold, makes the rules.

So what you have to do is to figure out what it means to be crushing it is. Sit down with your boss and hammer out some goals. This is super easy. Just get out a sheet of notebook paper, a pen, and ask him what he wants. Then write down what he wants. Keep writing until he runs out of ideas.

Once you’ve done that, go and do everything on that sheet of paper. Stay late if you have to. While you are doing that, write down things that come to your head that you could also be doing, on another sheet of paper.

Once you’ve done everything on the first sheet of paper, leave that day at 5pm. Or if you’re feeling froggy, pop your head into your boss’s office at 4 and let him know you’re heading home for the day. Bring your sheet of paper with all the tasks crossed out and if he asks what you’ve been doing, just say “everything” and show him the sheet of paper.

Then flip to the next sheet of paper, with all the things you could be doing, and say “if you’ve got a minute, we can go over these things you might want me to do next week.” He might say sure, or he might be so impressed he just waves you out the door, telling you to keep it up.

Your employee status is now “crushing it” and you no longer have to worry about being the nail sticking out, needing the hammer.

If you can manage your own time and output, your boss won’t feel the need to.