When I was in my early twenties I went through that phase too. I watched a lot of sad anime, listened to sad songs, and just got myself fully acquainted with the wide range of human misery that we inflict on ourselves.
Fast forward ten years, I now consider this time of my life to be the part where I really developed emotionally. Even after I stopped doing all that stuff, my ability to handle really negative emotional states stuck with me and gave me what they call “character.” Someone with character can make beauty out of ugliness. Only by really understanding ugliness can you make beauty out of it.
There are people that do this even better than I do. We call them “artists.” You should find an outlet for the creativity your efforts are going to soon generate. When I was doing it, I also played violin and the piano.