The only thing that really defines masculinity is genetics. Everything else is just wishful thinking. You can say you want something from men, they might even agree with you, but if the behavioral genetics don’t play ball, then nobody’s going to get what they want. Elaborate moral paradigms get created all the time, (hello chivalry) but they only work so far as they can express underlying genetics.
What we want is orchestrated for us by biology. We are far more deterministic than we would care to admit.