How do I stop friend-zoning guys? I turn 23 in May, and I have never been in a relationship. My girls tell me it’s because I automatically friend-zone any and every guy that approaches me.

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Everybody’s got their approach to romance. Lots of people treat it like a game where the guy has to impress the girl enough to “get in her pants.” That’s just one way of doing it. Plenty of people want to make a personal connection first before they make a sexual one.

If I approach a lady and she treats me like I’m just trying to get in her pants, I lose interest fast. She just sits there and clams up and doesn’t make any conversation, forcing me to do everything. Booorriinnnggg. Or she’ll get with the sexy banter immediately, thinking “it’s on!” No it’s not.

What I want is a girl I can just talk to like she’s my best friend in the world, that I also want to have sex with. This concept, I’ve come to understand, is completely alien to a lot of people. You don’t have sex with your friends. You don’t get romantic with your friends. There’s bro code and sis code to follow. To me it’s all so damned boring.

Not gonna lie, as a guy, it’s extremely difficult to turn a friendship romantic. Women are really passive, even if they want it, the idea of working together to make it happen is even more alien. A guy has to want it awfully bad.

That said, there’s a short window of time in which you can be both friendly and flirty with a guy, and he either steps up to the challenge or he strikes out. Only being friendly is like only pitching 100mph fastballs to a 6 year old, they’re just never going to be able to hit any of them.

You need to give the guy something to sink his teeth into. Once you’ve verified that he’s a nice enough guy, and that you could see yourself spending time with him outside of having sex, then open up a little sexually. Show him a little skin. Shake your booty a little. Ask him to dance with you. Make sexual innuendos. Ask him what kind of sex he likes.

Depending on the guy, you might need to be very explicit about your interest in him if you want him to respond. There’s a reason a lot of guys are horn-dogs, it’s because that’s often what it takes to open ladies up sexually. Lots of girls want guys to do ALL the work, then only kinda guy willing to do that is a horn-dog. If you want something other than horn-dogs, you need to meet them half-way.