I'm only attracted to extremely attractive men or extremely intelligent women (as friends). How can I dump my old ugly dumb friends?

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Lol. Just stop talking to them. They’ll get the hint eventually.

When you end up friendless and alone because the men and women you deign to interact with have better things to do than deal with your ridiculous standards, fret not, your old friends will (probably) take you back.

Maybe they’ll even like that you’re a little less shallow.