Is it wrong for me to want to be polyamorous, and yet expect my partner to be fully monogamous with me?

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You can’t really call it right or wrong to want something, wanting is thinking, not doing. Actions are to be judged right or wrong, but thoughts are your own domain.

You want a certain kind of relationship. The only things that matter from a moral perspective is whether the other person wants what you want, and if you’re applying coercive tactics in order to get it.

If you simply announce what you want to the other person, and they agree, then you’ve set the ground rules for a relationship. Assuming those rules actually fit the needs of both of you, it can be a healthy, working relationship. But if they don’t fit your needs, then you’ll fight over it, and eventually break up.

Note that people’s needs can change. If you go find your faithful partner that’s fine with you sleeping around, they can be happy with it at the moment, but they could decide that what they really want is a monogamous relationship, and you’ll be called upon to either get on the same page with your partner, or break up.

Generally when people’s needs change, it gets really messy. Most relationships aren’t set up to accommodate personal growth, particularly when it comes to sexuality. I knew a woman once whose 30 year marriage ended when her husband decided to become a woman. It wasn’t pretty.

So, while I can’t call what you want wrong, I can very well call it unrealistic. People seem to desire equality, and unless you can somehow pitch the idea to them that you can have such a relationship with them that’s equal, then inevitably, the other person is going to wise up eventually and start demanding better treatment.

I’m not saying it can’t be done, it’s just a really hard sell.