What are the worst ways to have crushes?

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A2A, interesting question. A crush is when your mind just can’t get a certain person out of your head. I think of the process of falling in love as an act of faith. You start making emotional investments in a person with the hopes that one day they will bear out.

Unfortunately a lot of people make really stupid investments, and the rest of the world isn’t always exactly ethical. I would say that the worst kind of crush to have is to be forced by your subconscious into an emotional dependence on someone who is actually malicious, who not only is not interested in you, but also doesn’t care about you, and sees your helplessness as an opportunity for personal gain.

Also, even malicious people usually have some sense of justice. They may feel like they’re justified in using you, but they wouldn’t stoop to actually ruining your life or health, just your emotional well-being. Even crazy people believe they’re doing the right thing.

But even this might not be the worst way to have a crush. No matter how bad malice gets, you can at least learn something from it and hopefully move forward a wiser person.

No I think the worst way is probably to have a crush that you can’t learn from. A crush that you never act on, that is always festering in your mind, paralyzing you from doing anything about it. I had a crush on a girl in high school, and the first words I ever said to her were to ask her to a school dance with me. She just laughed.

That hurt, but I got over it that afternoon. With it went my fear of putting myself out there for women. I’m still introverted, but I’m not shy.

When you look at it on the balance, getting involved with a malicious user seems much much worse than not acting out of fear. And so I suppose it is. But you can’t put your life on hold out of fear. You’re best served by keeping your wits about you and exercising caution, but still moving forward and learning and growing.