I dissed a major company by email for making a fake job ad, including my cv with it, but they have asked to phone screen me. What do I do?

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It’s more likely that one hand doesn’t know what the other is doing. If you want to actually keep the job, do your best to erase the evidence of the remarks you made against the company. If someone finds out, then even if they don’t fire you, your career might be over.