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How can I make my boyfriend scared that I am going to dump him?

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So, there’s an escalation of relationship tactics. On the scale of one to crazytown, here’s how it goes.

  1. A friendly, teasing pointer that gets right to the point and makes him instantly see the error of his ways. If you can get it done with this, then there’s no point in going any farther.
  2. A sternly-worded warning that he’s going to be in deep shit if he doesn’t change his ways. This is best followed by a discussion in which you explain why he needs to do that.
  3. Removal of emotional warmth. Do you usually make him dinner after work? Whatever it is he likes you doing for him, don’t do it, or if that’s not practical, make him regret making you do this while he’s not doing X.
  4. Start an argument. Make his life a living hell until you accomplish your objective. We’ve moved beyond passive aggression and are now in the realm of emotional warfare.
  5. You’re looking for the following progression of mental rapports. a) to be heard. b) to be understood. c) to be listened to. The reason you get into an argument is because friendly communication has broken down, this is your opportunity to build up new lines. Being heard means they’ve processed what you’re asking of them. Being understood means they realize they need to do it. Being listened to means you’ve managed to convey why. If you get to the argument stage and c) doesn’t happen, then it’s only a matter of time before it will escalate to:
  6. Threaten a breakup. This is your last-ditch escalation tactic, to be used only when you’re absolutely certain you’re going to use it. If you’re not serious, and you back down at this point without getting what you want, then you risk losing respect in the eyes of your partner.
  7. Threaten to ruin his life. We have left the realm of sanity and are now entering crazytown. This is where the conflict has gotten so large, that the stakes are no longer limited to just the relationship. A reasonable, smart person will immediately give in to all threats at this point and then immediately and completely cut off all contact with their former SO.