I am at a point when I can not decide whether to leave him or not, because my heart and soul still says he needs me. What should I do?

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Sad situation, I’m sorry you’re going through it. It sounds like you’ve already made your decision, you’re just wanting a push to follow through with it. Whether you decide to unmake your decision or follow through on it, know that no matter what you choose, you won’t be ruining his whole life. Sure