How do you have an adult conversation with your husband who argues and acts like a child I mean he bullies and threaten and walks away?

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You can’t. If someone refuses to have a mature discussion with you, then you cannot have a mature discussion with them. It would only be one-sided, and that’s by definition not a mature discussion.

You need a different approach. Think back to all the times you ever got childish about something. Or your kids. What’s the common thread? Usually reason flies out the window when people feel attacked and they think they’re going to lose and they really don’t want to lose. He feels like he’s being attacked, so he digs in and is preparing for war.

Your task is to figure out what he’s afraid of, reassure him that it’s not going to be that bad, and that there’s a better option than fighting. If you can do that, then he’ll put down his weapons and come back to the table.