If a girl is average looking with a nice personality but isn't talented will a boy ever like her?

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I find it interesting how young people wrap their self-esteems around seemingly trivial things. Usually it’s appearance / attractiveness, in your case it’s talent.

Personally, I prefer to work directly on the thing that I’m insecure about, but it’s not very nice to offer beauty or workout tips to a poor girl that’s insecure about her looks. Guys take it a little better but the result is the same. So you have to take a different approach and try to hack at the insecurity itself rather than just try to fix it like I would. It almost never works very well.

I’ve seen women try to flatter or encourage looks-insecure women to think of themselves as beautiful, while I appreciate the effort, I know enough about the psychology of insecurity to know that’s not an effective approach either.

But you are insecure about not being talented. How refreshing! What’s nice about talent is that everybody’s got at least one or two, they just have to work to find them. The key to exploring your abilities is to always think of it as play, not work.

I’m an exceptionally talented programmer. I started when I was very young, and to me it was the most fun I could have in the fourth grade. I’m lucky enough to have had parents that encouraged me, and now I make six figures as a coder. But it’s still as fun for me as it was when I was a kid.

Maintaining that sense of fun is essential. There are a lot of little soft skills to learn to help keep things fun and interesting when money starts getting exchanged, but you’re nowhere near that yet. Just explore things you like and eventually you’ll find something challenging, but still fun. Keep at it until you accomplish something you’re proud of.

That’s how you become talented. There’s no magic to it, just exploration and diving in. If you’re truly motivated, you can turn it into a high-paying career.