Is an unhealthy relationship worth it?

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There is no guarantee that you won’t just find yourself in a similar situation with the next girlfriend should you decide on regime change. You don’t know how much of the problem is with you, and how much of the problem is with her. Until you learn you are just going to have the same problems with, if I’m allowed to be crass here, a different set of tits.

So try to work on yourself, and then try to work on your relationship. Start by talking to her. If it goes nowhere, work on yourself to determine why it went nowhere. Did you fail to convey yourself adequately? Were you too quick to get mad? Figure it out, work on it some, then go talk to her again.

If you do this sincerely, it’ll add new energy to your relationship. It will not change it overnight, but it will make it nicer for awhile. To actually change the relationship, you have to keep it up. Keep talking to her to improve your relationship, and keep working on yourself.

Where you have a real compatibility problem is when you just can’t see yourself wanting to do this, and the reason really boils down to her and not you. Your mind is made up, and it’s more work to unmake it at that point than it is to end it and find someone new.