I physically hit my girlfriend when I get insanely mad. What should I do?

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I see a lot of judgment in the answers. I think it’s great that you’re willing to open up and ask for advice.

Try this: tell your girlfriend to, if she thinks you’re going to hit her, to ask you to not hit her. Nothing fancy, just “please don’t hit me.” It might be just enough to calm you down. I dunno, it’s worth a shot if you haven’t tried it already.

I’ve read your comment and it’s confusing to me. How much time happens between your temper being triggered and you hitting her? Is it like instant? Or is there like a minute or so in between? If you could work on maybe holding out longer and longer before you get violent, that could help.

I’m sure she’s already doing this, but your girlfriend could try to identify exactly the things that trigger you and work to avoid those situations. I’ve had a lot of experience in finding and avoiding these kinds of triggers. So I know it’s possible. It just might take some time and intuition.

You might try enlisting the help of your neighbors. It might feel awful to come clean about it to them, but if you’re open and honest, they can maybe help restrain you if it happens.

Good luck.