How can I stop feeling like a loser around women?

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Well, you know what your problem is, you listed it right there in your description. You’re afraid of vulnerability. Any real solution to your issues is going to have to address this.

The best way to get over your fear is to just face it head-on. After you do it once, you’ll find there’s nothing really to be afraid of. The world’s not going to end if someone rejects you. But you will completely rob yourself of every opportunity to be happy if you simply refuse to face your fears.