How can I regain the trust of my significant other?

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Love is hard. Really hard. It’s something that takes a lifetime to learn how to do. You’re learning at 15, you’re still learning at 75. At least, you are if you’re doing it right.

I’m with the others that say that trust isn’t the issue here. You can’t “emotionally cheat” on a boyfriend. Your connection just isn’t strong enough yet at that stage of the relationship. Once you’ve committed to each other for always and forever, after you’ve been through hell and high water together, after you’ve had kids together, that’s when it’s possible to cheat on them emotionally.

It’s easy to commit to have sex with only one person. It’s really hard to commit to only ever having feelings for one person. I was sitting just today watching TV with my girlfriend, we’re watching Ninja Warrior. Chock full of guys that are way better looking and more fit than me. She saw one of them and was like, “ooh my. That man is beautiful. Can you tell him I’m available?” I laughed and said I’d get him on the phone.

People are too quick to make commitments they think they should be making, but just can’t really make just yet. It would be too much of my girlfriend to ask me to only ever think about her, and too much for me to ask her to only ever think about me. We’re just not there yet, and a relationship is not something you can rush.

The way you talk about you and your boyfriend makes me think you guys should go back to dating and start seeing other people. Get a sense for what it’s like out there. If you guys have something real then you’ll gravitate back together. What you’re trying to do just won’t work.

Trust should not be something you have to work on. You either have it or you don’t. Don’t try to trust someone you shouldn’t be trusting, don’t ask someone to trust you when you don’t really know you can be trusted for it. It just does everybody involved a disservice. You find out about a person by spending time with them and seeing how they behave in different situations. That’s how you know whether you can trust him / her. Because you’ve seen them in similar situations and you know how they’re likely to react.

I wish I had a better, easier answer for you. Stepping back is really hard. But it’s really the only choice. Don’t pretend you guys are something you’re not.