What can I do to be comfortable and relax while I am with a girl?

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I eventually solved this problem by just keeping my mouth shut when I didn’t feel like talking. Granted, it took not caring anymore whether I kept the lady I was with or not before I found the stones to just sit there and shut up, but once I did, I found that silence can be golden.

I go to a bar. Been going to this bar for some five years now. It took me that long to think to bring my laptop there and use it to kill boredom. Playing with a laptop has a different effect than playing with your phone. People come talk to you when you’re on your laptop at the bar, so long as it’s not a hunk of junk and you look like a homeless guy mooching free wifi. I hate starting conversations, but I don’t mind keeping one up that someone else starts at all. And having a laptop at a bar is an instant conversation starter.

Being more comfortable is all about giving fewer fucks. Ask yourself, “why do I care how someone will react to me doing X?” Then do X, X being something that makes you more comfortable, and accept whatever people say or do about it. At the bar, I constantly get the same guys asking me, “why you gotta work at the bar man?” I’ll stop and put the lid down (in case something spills) and talk to them for a bit. Then when they wander off, I’ll crack it back open and go back to what I was doing.

Similarly, you might decide to stretch out, get a drink, or heck, pull out a book and read. Whatever makes you comfortable. The idea is you want to keep being social while you’re also doing whatever it is you need to do. Comfortable people are chill and like to chat. Chat while you’re reading.