Why are people attracted to those who have a sense of entitlement?

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The lady I’m dating is essentially royalty. Her parents are government officials an a wealthy African nation. She was very spoiled growing up. After coming to the US for college she slowly started becoming more American. Even very well-off Americans are very self-reliant compared to affluent Africans. My lady had honest-to-God servants.

So she is an extremely intriguing mix of learned American self-reliance combined with the romantic ideals of an old-world princess that she grew up with. She expects to be doted on and for me to say ‘yes’ to her every whim. But I don’t, mostly for the prosaic reason that it would quickly make me broke. She understands, but it doesn’t stop her from asking for everything from $20 for gas here and there to a new computer. (I bought a new one for myself and gave her my old one, a nice MacBook Air. She added it to her collection.) And she has a good job with a great salary!

She has other guy friends that actually do say ‘yes’ to everything. If she wanted to go to Paris, she has an endless supply of willing suitors willing to take her there. But she doesn’t want to go to Paris with them. She wants to go with me.

In the past, I’d misunderstand what it was she wanted. She’d ask me to get her a mani/pedi. $60 for the ones she likes. I didn’t always make six figures. I told her to get one of her other guy friends to pay for it for her. She’d say she didn’t want them to, she wanted me to. I’d just roll my eyes and change the subject.

I thought it was about the manicures. I thought she was just using me to get what she wanted. I’d refuse, not just because I couldn’t afford to say yes to everything, but because I needed to to retain my sense of self-respect.

It took me awhile to realize that gifts were an important part of how she experiences love. By being willing to share more and more of what I have with her, she thinks of me more and more and more. One time we were at Home Depot and she saw a blanket she liked, she asked me to get it for her. I just nodded and forgot about it. Months later she was like, “you bastard!,” one of her pet names for me. “Remember that blanket you got me? It’s my favorite part of being in my bed. I can’t get in my bed now without thinking about you!” It was a real eye-opener for me.

We both see other people. A few months ago she got roped into a trip to California to see one of them. I wanted her to look good for her trip so I took her to get her $60 mani/pedi the day before she left. When she got there, the guy she went to go see asked about her nails. She told him I had gotten them for her and he got real mad. That was a few months ago, she’s still wearing the old polish on her nails, though she broke down for her feet and painted them herself. It’s chipped everywhere and only covers half her nails on the fingers where it’s still present. She hasn’t asked me to bring her back, I think she might have a sentimental attachment to them.

I take pride in having nice things. I pay a lot for a nice apartment, I have a new car. I have nice clothes that I’ve developed my style for over years. Having an entitled girlfriend that likes these things as much as I do validates my sense for what is good in life.

I grew up poor. Everything my mom and sister and I had, we got by hook or by crook. Having a beautiful, spoiled princess in my life is very exciting and makes me feel like I made it.