My guess would be that they actually are assholes.
I used to think it was better to get rich before getting married. Now I believe it’s better to find the one you want to marry, then get rich with her. Most people get rich by working crazy hours. It doesn’t leave them much room to date. Then when they finally do date, they don’t know how, and are carving out time from their business to spend it on dates. They have a sense of entitlement because of their success. They’re not looking for a relationship, they’re looking to check the ‘wife’ box off on their career checklist.
20 years later you find them filling up the tables at strip clubs. A lot of them have a poor, unloved wife at home pretending she believes him when he says he’s working late.
Don’t look to date wealthy, single men. That might have been a valid path to the good life 20 years ago, nowadays it’s like locking yourself up in prison.