Are US-Russia relations at a very bad point as of October 2016?

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The USSR once tried to put nuclear missiles in Cuba. No. Relations aren’t particularly bad right now. Imagine if your neighbors down the street decided to put a few tasteless statues called Syria and Crimea on their front yard. It looks ugly and would give anyone driving through the completely wrong idea about what the neighborhood is about.

You try to talk some sense into them but they’re unwilling to listen. You want to tell your kids to stop playing with their kids by telling them you’re playing a little game called embargo but don’t really have the heart to do it wholeheartedly. Their kids just idolize you even if the parents hate your guts.

That’s the situation. During the Cold War, we were prepared to firebomb their front door, and they ours. But we always made more money than they did, so eventually we just found ways to fix the situation so it didn’t bug us too much and they went back to their dysfunctional family. Russians are wonderful, wonderful people. If only they could bring their state into line the world would be a much better place. It really sucks being the only voice of reason on the international stage.

Of course, if Trump wins the election, then so much for reason, eh? Trump’s that weird uncle that thinks stupid statues are something to aspire to for some reason. So relations would probably improve a touch. At what cost, who knows?