Is a society where men are expected to give up their lives to secure the safety of women ideal?

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Hahaha, no.

Nobody should have to give up their lives to secure the safety of anyone. The words of General George S. Patton comes to mind:

“The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.”

If people are worried for their safety then that tends to crowd out all other considerations. Soldiers returning from war have a real tough time adjusting to peacetime. Survivors of extreme violence do not make good lovers. They have too much trauma to get over before they can really participate in one.

It’s hard enough on young families for the guy to go on deployment once a year. My sister is getting a divorce from her husband in part because of this. Being in the US Military is a fairly safe career. Throw in PTSD and regular relationships become all but impossible.