I’d say you need more information for me to go on, but really I don’t think it would change anything. You’re depressed. Get out and go play.
Philosophies take decades to form. They’re responses to culture and life events. You’re taking how you’re feeling now and trying to justify it. That’s not a philosophy that’s just lack of discipline.
Find something you like doing and keep doing it. One of my favorite artists is LittleKuriboh. He, among other things, take anime shows and makes abridged versions of them. He’s gut-bustingly funny. He also suffers from fairly severe depression. How does he deal with it? Among other things, he makes videos describing his journey. You can find his YouTube channel here: