Why do certain artists continue staying alive if they believe in such dark truths of life?

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It’s not easy to kill yourself. Evolution has put many safeguards on it. Mother nature isn’t perfect, and there are lots and lots and lots of people in the world, so there are still lots of suicides, but people can’t easily make the decision to end their own lives.

I live on the fourteenth floor of an apartment building. Sometimes I stand on my balcony and look down. I think “how easy it would be for me to just jump off.” But it’s not easy. No way would my brain allow me to vault over the side like that.

People that succeed in committing suicide usually didn’t succeed on the first try. They had to try, try again. A lot of the times the suicide attempt shocks their psyche and makes them want to live again. Sometimes people plan out their suicides painstakingly and seemingly inexorably. Usually when it comes time to do it they can’t bring themselves to carry out their plans. The act of planning satisfies the inner desire they had and actually going through with it requires a different sort of resolve.

You see this with would-be school shooters too. They could spend years planning an assault and never go through with it. Planning is not training. The picture they had in their heads of how it would go down is not how it actually goes down.

You need to train yourself to actually carry out acts of violence, whether on yourself or others. Artists make art. Not train themselves to commit violence.