How come men tend to leave when you start to become less interesting or going through a rough patch instead of sticking by you?

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Because you haven’t made enough of a connection yet. People don’t just fall in love at first glance, first date, first fuck. It takes a long time to build the kind of relationship that is solid enough to weather trials.

A lot of girls just don’t want to be helped. They don’t want to ask for help, they’re afraid of being vulnerable and maybe of being controlled. If I were dating a lady for a few months and she suddenly starts going through a rough patch, I have a hard decision to make. The first thing I want to know is, is she willing to accept my help? Will she let me pay for her trip back home? Will she open up about it so we can brainstorm solutions together?

If she can’t, then I have a hard time not concluding that our relationship just doesn’t have any legs. If she’s going to force me to watch her go through hardship after hardship just because we can’t have an honest conversation, what are we really doing here? If that’s what sticking by you means, I don’t need your misery. I got where I am in life by being open and honest with myself and others about what I wanted and needed. I have a long, long list of people I can turn to for help about anything at all. People I’ve helped in the past and who’ve helped me.

If we are dating, I’m going to give you access to all of that. But you have to want it. The only way a man can survive in this world is by banding together with others. If you’re dating a guy, any guy, and you need or want something from him, you need to ask him for it. He can’t read your mind. If you don’t trust him, then don’t date him, you’re better off alone.