You’re having what I call a ‘healing’ awakening. Your prior awakening is what I would term an ‘expansion’ awakening.
The perspective you’re accessing isn’t non-duality, it’s rather a form of peace. Your brain and mind are opening up, pathways and communication lines are being laid across the brain in places they didn’t previous exist.
The reliving of trauma is a result of those new pathways. You are experiencing the memory of the trauma because the pathways got turned off because of that trauma. Because the last time they were open was when the traumatic experience closed them off.
The peaceful disposition is a reconciliation of the brain and mind. Your being is in a positive, flowing state because it’s finally been able to unload the trauma and the defense mechanisms that resulted from it. The mourning was also a long time coming, it’s you coming full circle to an understanding of your own being evolution. It presents as mourning because sadness is the first step out of the void.
I’m so excited for you!