Why do some emotional things make us stronger?

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A number of reasons.

First and foremost they expose our limitations. When you run headlong into something that renders you weak and incapable of taking effective action to end the situation making you emotional, it’s like working your muscles.

Avoiding emotional situations is like expecting to get stronger by staying the heck away from the gym and anything like the gym.

Second they teach us what we value. A peak experience in life is that which engages us on all levels. Not knowing what you value is like getting on a boat and not bothering to steer it. You’ll get somewhere but there’s no guarantee you’ll like it.

Finally they motivate us. When bad things happen you’re motivated to not let that bad thing happen to you again in the future. Without negative states, we’d never be motivated to find more positive ones.