It’s not love at first, it’s just attraction. Attraction leads to interaction, which leads to fascination, which leads to friendship, which intertwines with romance, which finally deepens into love.
You seem to making the common mistake of confusing fascination for love and want to skip the friendship and romance parts. To grow as an emotionally-healthy person, you need to learn how to value the non-sexual, non-possessive parts of a relationship.