Why are so many decent people single nowadays?

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Every girl I date asks me why I’m still single. I give the same answer I always do, as true as it is boring. Just haven’t met the right one yet. I’d go a little more in-depth into it, but the question comes up way too soon for me to be comfortable opening up. I’ve learned the hard way that being too open too early just isn’t a good look. So the opportunity to discuss that particular topic passes, usually never to recur.

But the reality is that modern life for a well-off, eligible single person is just too easy-going and nice, and the wrong relationship has the nasty tendency to mess with that. You watch all your friends flub through relationship after relationship and the realization is that people are just happier when they’re independent.

A buddy of mine is recently single after having been engaged for like a year. She cheated on him with a married man. After some soul searching he’s now a lot more cautious. Cautious means that where most people would easily move from casual dating to serious dating, my friend will just stay casual for much much longer. I’m the same way too.

And so the ladies pick up on this and take each date less seriously too. Nobody wants to be the first person to look like they’re ready to commit. Nobody even has solid criteria for who they’d be willing to commit to. We all have that one on-again-off-again “it’s complicated” semi-relationship we’ve been fanning for years. There’s just no impetus to take dating seriously. Taking it seriously only leads to hurt feelings and wasted time.

Far better to just casually date and wait for lightning to strike.