How do I detach from my thoughts, emotions and relationships while seeking self realization? How can I not be depressed because I am not able to detach and quieten my mind trying to lose worldly identity to realize the truth?

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The best technique I know for reducing attachment is meditation. But not just any kind of meditation. Allow me to describe a technique for you.

Sit quietly and comfortably. Reclining on an easy chair is just fine. We’re trying not to pay attention to our body here, don’t be afraid to shift around a bit if you start feeling a pain or scratch an itch. It’s what’s going on in the mind that’s important.

You want to spend about 10 minutes observing the mind. Your mind does things, but you are watching it. You can do this because you are not your mind. But you have to reduce identification with the mind first before you can observe it. You only think you are your mind. Build up your capacity to disidentify with the contents and operation of mind by watching it while it’s running.

There is no need to try to control what you are thinking. It matters not where your mind goes. In fact, the more you do this, the more fun your thoughts will get while you’re meditating.

Instead, the thing to fight against is re-identification, when you forget that you are sitting there watching your mind and instead of watching your thoughts, you’re merely having them instead. The way this goes down is you suddenly remember that you’re supposed to be observing but you got caught up in worries or fears or whatever.

Don’t beat yourself up about it, just return to watching your worries and fears.

Do this for about ten minutes, then get up and go about your day. You can set a timer, but make sure it’s not the kind that demands your attention, make it one that just beeps once so you know you could get up if you wanted to. If you have the time and you feel like going longer, feel free.

With enough practice, you’ll find yourself in ‘observation mode’ not only while you’re sitting quietly, but also during quiet moments you have during the day. Once you’re here, you can practice this kind of light meditation anywhere, during any situation. It’s essentially having multiple ‘tiers’ of agency in your mind. The part watching and commenting on the rest of your mind, and the part actually doing the reacting. Done enough, you can learn to stop errant thoughts in their tracks.

You still react, you still have emotions and relationships, you just have a sense of agency over them that’s being built up through meditation.