That’s a question you will need to ask your pastor.
God is about more than forgiveness, you know. Have you ever prayed? Why don’t you give it a shot, at least once, before you follow through on your plan. The first time you do it, it’s best to do it right. Put a cushion down on the ground so you can kneel with both knees onto it. Put your hands together and look up towards Him. You’re going to want to start by reciting the Lord’s Prayer.
Follow along with me. Say the words out loud, not just in your head. It will help for when you’re kneeling and beseeching God for forgiveness.
Our Father
Who art in Heaven,
hallowed be Thy name;
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done
on earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those
who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil
Amen.
It’s good to light a candle. Make sure the room is silent. Let nothing come between you and God. When you’re done reciting your prayer, stay on your knees and look up. Close your eyes and try to feel God in your mind. Ask Him, openly and honestly, for forgiveness. Bare your entire soul to God, hide nothing. His is the light that can heal all wounds, through Him all things are possible, including, if need be, forgiveness. But you need to ask.