Men, who have never seen me naked before, tell me that they don't want to date me because I have an ugly and smelly vagina. How can I be confident, and react positively to that?

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This is a situation in which positivity is unwarranted. The gold standard here would be wit, an upbeat insult that leaves them with no other recourse than to slink away in what would hopefully be shame, but honestly probably just idiotic frustration. Such as this delightful interaction from Iron Man.

To achieve this kind of wit, you need to read deeply into the situations you find yourself in and find the transcendent humor in them. Pepper is absolutely devoted to Tony in a way that the silly reporter could never begin to understand. Picking up his dry cleaning is the absolute least of it.

By turning it around and having her be one of these ugly, mundane tasks that Pepper does every day for Tony is just completely perfect.

There’s another aspect here that bears mention. Pepper didn’t try to deny Virginia’s accusation. She accepted it. This is an important “stage law,” one of the first things you learn in improv training if you ever take it. Treat everything anyone says like they’re God handing down a commandment. Instantly and without fuss. Build on top of that context. In this case it’s the sense of Pepper being Tony’s errand girl. It’s not really true, but it wouldn’t be interesting to argue with it, not when we have a much better thing to respond with. Accept it and see where it leads.

To apply this to your situation, we can think a little more deeply about what’s going on. The guys that say this sort of thing to you aren’t doing it because they aren’t interested in having sex with you. They are, they just feel like putting you down is the way to get that accomplished. The idea here is that you’ll get ashamed and want to turn to them for validation.

Now just take that insight, mix it up with the imagery that they themselves introduced into the conversation, that of an ugly and smelly vagina, along with seeming acceptance of the situation, and you have the makings of a great comeback. Accept the shame and need for validation, just look for it in someone else.

“Oh too bad, because my poor, smelly pussy really needs a strong, powerful man to really get in there and clean it out. Would you happen to know any?”