How do I tell the boy I like that I like him? He’s my neighbor and also one of my best friends. Though I want to admit my feelings, I’m afraid that it will change our friendship.

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Isn’t changing your friendship the whole point? It can make it better or make it worse, you can’t know until you actually give it a shot.

I don’t know you, I don’t know him. I can’t tell you how he’s going to be in a relationship with you. You find out a lot of things about someone when you get close to them. It’s great to believe that you can make a relationship work “no matter what”, but that requires commitment from both partners.

And guys are basically slaves to whatever random ideas have been fed to them over the years about women and relationships. He’s probably going to take the opportunity to validate them, whether they’re right, wrong, ugly, or beautiful, with you. And you’re going to respond the way you believe and understand about relationships as well.

Nobody can tell what’s going to happen until it happens. And nobody can say whether you’ll still be able to stay friends after it’s all said and done.

It is, unfortunately, a sad, sad state of affairs.

Let me tell you about a friendship I had when I was in high school. We met at a party. I thought she was really cute. I don’t know what got into me, but I came up with the idea of pulling her into my lap as she walked by. I did it, and she didn’t move from my lap all night. We spent lunchtimes together pretty much every day during my junior year of high school. I tried kissing her once but she wasn’t having it.

After that year she moved to a different school. I saw her one more time at some kind of weird party that I don’t remember at all other than the fact that I saw her there. I realized it was the last time I was ever going to see her, so I let my friends talk me into making a move on her. It went disastrously, she wanted to know where her friend went. I had basically tried to get her to have sex with me that last night. We never saw each other again.

You can never predict what’s going to happen when you do stuff like that. But you learn anyway and hopefully do it better next time. I could have never actually made it work with Rhiannon, as great as that would have been. But at least I learned something from the mistakes I made with her. And I hope she learned something from her experience with me.

You almost never know, when it is that this time you see this person, is the last time you’ll ever see that person. Yes, I realized it that last time with my friend. But most times, I could never really tell. Good luck.